THE MASK/ AND WHEN IT COMES OFF

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE,.... THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN WHAT YOU THINK THAT YOU KNOW IT NOT THAT AT ALL.... IT IS ACTUALLY SOMETHING ELSE...... COREY AND D.C HAVE RECENTLY BEEN TALKIN ABOUT TO LIFELINE AND OASIS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS AND SURROUNDINGS AND WATCHING... MARK BEESON ALSO SAID"PLANT YOURSELF IN NEW SOIL" WELL I AM COMMING TO FIND OUT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE THAT I THOUGHT I KNEW I REALLY DONT... AND I AM ALSO COMMING TO FIND OUT THAT WHEN IT COMES TO ME NOT BEING THEIR FRIEND ANYMORE I AM AFRAID.... ITS LIKE THIS THING WHERE YOU THINK YOULL BE ALONE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IF YOU DONT HAVE THAT ONE BADD FRIEND WELL..... I AM STILL CONFUSED ABOUT THE FACT THAT I AM REALLY SMART(NOT THE CONFUSING PART) AND MY FRIENDS REALLY ARE NOT( THE CONFUSING PART, ALSO MY FRIENDS AT PENN IS WHAT I AM REFERING TO) AND I REALLY AM NOT A PERSON WHO CAN PUT UP WITH THE UNEDUCATED BUT I SEEM TO BE TRYING AND LOSING MY PATIENTS ALOT..... LIKE I GET UPSET WHEN SOMETHING THAT I FEEL IS A STUPID ? COMES UP AND I HAVE TO ANSWER IT ..... I FIND MY SELF THINKIN WHAT WOULD JESUS DO BUT THEN THAT I AM NOT JESUS..... AND I CANT REALLY JUST SAY SHUT UP THATS A STUPID ? CAUSE THEY REALLY DONT KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT ?.............. SO AM I A BADD PERSON BECAUSE I CANT STAND UP AND SAY THAT I DONT WANT THEM AS FRIENDS , OR AM I ONLY HURTING MYSELF FOR WHAT I AM PUTTING UP WITH!!!!! I KNOW THAT GOD IS FORGIVING BUT I ALSO AM WHEN THE TIME IS NECESSARY, BUT I FIND MYSELF WONDERING ABOUT LITTLE THINGS THAT I REALLY DON T REALLY UNDERSTAND...... AND I REALLY WISH THAT WE WOULD HAVE HAD LIFELINE SO I COULD ASK COREY OR D.C OR EVEN BROOKE THESE QUESTIONS, BUT NO NEED TO LIVE IN THE PAST NOW... . IF YOU COULD HELP ME OUT GREAT AND ITS REALLY APPRECIATED..........

I SEEM TO BE HAVING THE WORST 3 WEEKS OF MY LIFE!! ITS LIKE I HAVE BUILT A WALL CAUSE I HAVENT REALLY HAD COMMUNICATION OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL IN FOREVER... I FEEL LIKE I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT THE NEXT 18 YEARS OF MY LIFE WILL BE LIKE... I AM GETTING SOOO STRESSED OUT ABOUT COLLEGE AND GETTIN AWAY FROM MY DAD THAT I SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT GOD.. IT SEEMS LIKE I DONT REALLY REALIZE WHATS GOING ON OUTSIDE OF ME... I AM SUPPOSE TO BE A LEADER IN MY COMMUNITY AND THIS WEEK I FEEL LIKE ALL I HAVE DONE IS BE A FAKE AND I AM SOOOO SORRY. I TEND TO MAKE THINGS LOOK GOOD WHEN THEY ARE REALLY BAD SO I START TO LOOSE SLEEP OVER THE LITTLE THINGS CAUSE I FEEL LIKE I CANT DEPEND ON ANYONE FOR ANYTHING AND THAT IS ALL I CAN DO RIGHT NOW....I NEED TO DEPEND ON MY DAD TO TAKE ME TO OHIO STATE AND I NEED TO DEPEND ON MY RECRUITER TO GET THEM TO RE-EVALUATE I NEED TO DEPEND ON GOD TO TAKE CAREOF ME.... BUT YOU ALL KNOW THAT IT IS SOOO HARD TO DEPEND ON PEOPLE THAT HAVE ALWAYS SAID THEY WERE GONNA DO STUFF(MY DAD) AND NEVER DO IT.....YOU START TO FEEL LIKE THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO OUT THERE EXCEPT SIT AND WAIT... AND I AM NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL.... I NEVER SIT AND WAIT I ALWAYS NEED TO JUST GET UP AND DO IT ON MY OWN.... BUT THESE ARE SOME THINGS THAT IS ON MY MIND AND I JUST HOPE THIS NEXT WEEK WILL GO BY VERY WELL AND THAT I WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS THANKS FOR READING MY BLOG !!!!!

MY LIFE

I TEND TO NOT UNDERSTAND THAT MY LIFE IS WHAT I MAKE IT... AND LATELY IT SEEMS EVERYONE HAS BEEN TRYING TO TEACH ME A LESSON ABOUT WHO I AM AROUND.... NOT ONLY DID IT COME UP IN REGULAR CHURCH BUT ALSO IN LIFELINE WHICH IS STUDENT MINISTRY! I WAS LIKE MAN, AS I AM SITTING NEXT TO A PERSON THAT I THINK IS THE GREATEST PERSON FOR ME TO BE AROUND RIGHT NOW, MY LIFE IS ALL MESSED UP I HAVE A FEW WRONG PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT NEED TO NOT BE IN MY LIFE AT THIS TIME... THEN I HAD WHAT MY GOOD FRIEND JASON CALLS A SPIRTUAL MOMENT WHERE I REALIZED MY WRONGS AND THEN MY RIGHTS.... THAT ENTIRE WEEK WAS AN EMOTIONAL/SPIRITUAL WEEK FOR ME.... I WAS ON THIS EXTREME HIGH AND IT FELT LIKE I COULDNT COME DOWN THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN MONDAY OF THE NEXT WEEK CAME AND I WAS EXTREMELY LOW LIKE I WAS GETTING DEPRESSED OR SOMETHING THEN IT WAS LIKE MY WHOLE WORLD THAT I HAD BUILT FOR ME HAD FALLEN AND THEIR WAS NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT... THIS ENTIRE TIME PERIOD IN MY LIFE WAS LIKE AMAZING YET SCARY, THEN I HAD TO PUT ON A FAKE FACE IN FRONT OF MY OASIS GIRLS JUST SO THAT THEY KNEW THAT I WAS IN GOOD STANDING TO TRY AND HELP THEM WITH WHAT MAY BE A CRISIS IN THEIR LIVES AT THAT TIME........... FOR THE WHOLE WEEK I WAS BEING FAKE AND THE GOOD THING WAS THAT NO ONE KNEW EXCEPT FOR ME AND I WAS LIKE FEELING THAT EVERYONE KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH...... LIFE IS AMAZING AND A GREAT THING TO HAVE AND HOLD ON TOOO..... I COULDNT IMAGINE IT WITH OUT GOD REALLY!!!

This is it

Well I have finally taken that next step in life and i hope you all will be here to enjoy that with me!!! I think itll be fun and exciting so yea lets do it!!!!